Gaze into an abyss
by OHuElkin
Summary: He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you. But what would you do - if you already a monster? What should you do, if you do not gaze into an abyss anymore, nor abyss gazes into you. Now - you ARE the abyss. And kill or be killed - is the only way to live another day.
1. Prologue

I was dead.

It doesn't matter, who I was, how I died, or even where I was now.

I just was dead.

That was not as hard, harsh or horrible as someone can think – in the end, there is no horned red-skinned satanic creatures, there is no white clouds with beautiful angels, there is no Abyss too. When I died – there was no one. No God, no Devil, no Odin or Pluton. And for the sake of humanity – even the relaxation was not an option.

I died – and the moment after that happened - I opened my eyes again. Some sort of the fate's joke, I assume.

When I opened my eyes again – I was not aware about anything. I didn't know about the circumstances around, about my previous life, about my name even. What I know was that I was dead a second ago – and now I was not.

And if this was the worlds joke – there is no word that can even remotely describe how awful it was.

Because, when I opened my eyes again – I was faced by some sort of disgusting creature, something between the hog and the lizard. It face was scowled in some sort of the painful yet angry grimace, it legs was muscular, but nonetheless short, it body was massive and sturdy, scaled in some sort of the white bones. And although this monstery-thing didn't look dangerous and was approximately only around 70cm in height, it looked very… Nerving, when you faced with it without any previous premise.

Of course, instinctively I recoiled from this thing, but some strange feeling in my arms and legs compel me to fall on my knees, luckily, this strange boar-lizard thing repeated all my actions with the mirror accuracy.

After the first second of the confusion, my first reaction was to run – or fight this thing, so I tried to stand up again, but for some reason – again, the scene repeated and I was forced to fall on my knees.

Nevertheless, what was even stranger for me – that boar-like animal again repeated my movements with absolute preciseness, as if trying to copy me like the mirror.

-Wait!- my mind shouted inside, and I stoped again – only to look at the creature in front of me. Creature stoped too.

-Oh no,- I hold my breath unconsciously, before I tried to raise a hand from my posture.

The ugly creature before me tried to raise on of his forepaws.

Incredulously, I tried to jump – and boar-lizard jumped before me.

Slowly, I moved my glance away from this creature – and tried to look around, to see anything or anyone around – but I found only the sheer wilderness, full of nothing and red dry clay-like dirt under my feet. No grass, no trees and no sign of humans around.

I moved my gaze more – and finally, looked at my own body.

-Yap,- I tried to say it loud and proud, but in the end could only growl something inarticulate. As it was expected – this disgusting creature was me all along.

If there is God in this world – he surely hate me. A lot.


	2. Arc 1: Chapter 1

Thus, I was reincarnated as the monster,- I sighed and looked at the mirror again, trying to comprehend my new unhuman nature. I was a human previously, after all… I assume. This is hard to tell when all you memories only a five minutes long scene – and some disordered data inside your mind,- Sound like the ideal name for another popular japanese novel.

I looked in the mirror again, trying to examine my new body – and a simple thought pierced my mind.

-Wait,- I looked around again and then bowed my head slightly,- Whence there is the mirror in the middle of nowhere?

I took a couple of steps back, trying to perceive whole picture in front of me, and what I saw was a least a strange scene.

Huh, so this is not the mirror in the middle of the desert,- slowly I walked around the structure, but the thing looked almost the same from any side,- This is the cristal in the middle of the desert!

In the end, the mirror in front of me turned out to be the cristal. A very big one – almost the size of elephant or a small house.

-Okay, this is not the question now,- I shook me head, but with short and muscular neck of this body it looked almost comically,- There is more relevant topics now. Like my monster reincarnation or the circumstances around.

I sighed loudly, but with this new body it sounded almost as bark, and then looked at the sky, trying to determine the time by the sun. However, in the end I just stared up dumbfounded.

-This is not normal, no way,- I unblinkingly moved my gaze to the bright sun in the distance and the planet, which was not supposed to be there.

The planet was big, even more, planet was HUGE – I could see unclear outlines of every out of five continents and big deep blue ocean between them. Surely – that was a planet with water, sufficient temperature and probably – with life on it. However, it didn't look like any habitable planet I known. No, one moment, I know only one habitable planet – Earth itself. And if my memory didn't betraying me now – Earth looked differently last time I saw it.

I blinked several times and slowly moved my gaze to the sun – thanks to all deities, it looked almost normal. Too bright for my accustomed to darkness and pale light of the computer screen eyes, but still normal.

-So, at least I'm not on the Earth anymore,- as any other my thought, this one was dictated by the unbelievable amount of logic inside my mind,- Surely, Dorothy, this is not Kansas anymore.

After this statement, for some time I was deep in my thoughts, thinking about the strange vicissitudes of fate, happening to us even after our death, but after minute or so, using my iron will and rumbling from hunger stomach, in the end I came in consensus with my pessimistic nature and made one wise conclusion.

-Human or not, on Earth or not, I am not going to die so soon after rebirth,- I shook me head again, as if trying to throw up starting depression out of my head.

-Okay,- I sighed, and then start to think logically,- There is three essential for any survivalist things, that you must have under your arm. Food, water and base.

I looked around again, but cannot see nor water, nor animals, nor any suitable for a lair place.

-Huh, at least, it seems as the plan,- I congratulated myself with it and tried to shrug,- Not the bad one in this situation.

And with these words, I ventured in this strange, dangerous place for first time.

I walked an hours, before environment started to change slowly. First of all – I started

to see some figures on the border of my sight, but tried to ignore them and leave they field of vision before they can scout me. No matter, was it humans or monsters – anyway this meeting can end quite badly. They can hunt me, can hurt me – or outright kill me, if they were stronger than I was, or other way – I can kill them. Of course, there was the possibility of peaceful encounter, but believe in the best – and be ready for the worst.

Therefore, slowly I started to see differences around me – usually in form of the dry plants or dead trees, protruding from the pale dirt. With every step the world around me became more and more pale – but no livelier. Sure, someone was here – but the world seemed as dead, as it can be.

-Creepy place,- I concluded,- And no normal shelter around.

It was expected, but still bad – every normal animal, human or monster alike – seek something, that they can call home. Even if this was a little box in street corner – still, humans are not made for true nomadism.

So – I searched for the place for me to stay in for some time, but in the end could only admit my shameful defeat in this beginning. After I traveled almost a hundred of miles, I didn't find any normal place for permanent lair, except, if I dig a cave under my feet.

-Okay, so, there is no base,- I shrugged discontentedly,- That means, that at least I should find a food and a water.

The stomach growled approvingly.

-Strange, however,- I thought,- I walked almost a five hours, and what I've got – only some hunger. I think, that was not normal, when I was a human… Oh, well, now I am not the one.

I dismissed this irrelevant now think and concentrated on the next goal.

-Okay, I have no lair, not even some base cover – so, catch should be a little one; easy eat it whole or drag with me,- I started to dig in my mind, so ignored the strange sound of the foots, stepping on the dirt.

-Little prey like rabbit or partridge should be good,- something growled next to me, but I just dismissed this,- Yes-yes, one more minute… But where the rabbit could be in this wilderness?

Something growled louder, but I only frowned at this and looked in the face of the rude one,- Hey, I said: one moment please!

Then, unable to bear my neglect thing roared – and finally I looked straight into the eyes of the monster.

-Huh?- I spent a couple of seconds, trying to comprehend happening now, before my mind precisely apprehended, that I was only a meter away from the monster. Another, very similar to myself monster, but even more sturdy and massive then I was.

-Oh shit!- I cried loud, but my vocal cords could only produce some sort of inarticulate roar, that my hypothetical enemy interpreted as the sign of attack – and dashed to me at the very good speed.

-Oh shit!- I jumped aside, trying to be as far from his jaws as possible, but his massive short tail slammed in me, throwing right under his feet.

-No, no-no-no!- instinctively I tried to grapple his body, but my sharp claws ripped his skin instead, that was actually even better.

The monster roared from the pain and tried to turn around, but I have even better plan to do.

-Not today!- I grabbed his neck with my jaws, trying to stay out of reach of his sharp claws. When monster turned around again – I clenched teeth harder, trying to hold the animal – and used my clutches again, slitting his muscles as hard and fast, as I could.

The monster howled in pain again – and tried to throw me again, but much harder this time. I clutched even harder – but that time monster was stronger. Knowing, that if monster attack me again – I probably will lose, in the last second I put all my strenght in my jaws, feeling, how something cracked under my teeth. Boar howled – and finally unhooked me, but when I stand up moment later – little battle was already ended.

The boar-lizard squealed, trying to fix the giant gap in the middle of his neck, where dark blood sprouted out of him with great speed, slowing his movements with every second.

I looked at this sight for a moment, before I comprehend, that missing piece of the monster now was in my mouth.

Not risking approaching to the wounded enemy, I waited for a minute, before monster finally weakened enough to lay down and close his bright red eyes, before I slowly come to the almost dead boar-lizard… Hm, that's no good, I cannot always call them "boar-lizards"… Maybe a "Boarzard"? Nuh forget it, I will think about it later.

Well, I came to the almost dead animal, and, before it can do something stupid – slited his throat with my claw.

-Okay,- only after this action I could relax a little bit and find, that my body trembled out of adrenalin quantity and belated fear,- That surely could end much worse.

Only after this words intense pain pierced myself – and I discovered, that my skin was pierced too – piece of flesh was torn apart and blood slowly dripped out of wound on my body.

-Huh,- I shrugged again,- So, in the end it was not a "flawless victory", eh?

Only after that weak joke I understood, that first of the goals was fulfilled.

-Huh, some small catch?- I overlooked almost 60kg body of boarzard, and sighed,- Still could get much worse.

-Okay,- I approached the body of monster and stoped before him,- Okay, another one surely will appear, attracted to the smell – so I have no time to drag him with me – or cook him at all. My new monstrous body – do not fail me!

-Time to hurry,- I opened my mouth, hoping for my new stomach to deal with this raw meat,- Bon appetite!

That was the first time when I ate the representative of my species.

Well, and no matter how it sound – it was a delicious experience.


	3. Arc 1: Chapter 2

-Oh shit!- I desperately tried to compress the bleeding side, trying to keep in sight enemy simultaneously,- Oh crap, I knew, this was the bad idea!

The boarzard in front of me inhaled soundly, before it take another step, as if trying to intimidate me even more. Well, at least it failed in this beginning – that was truly impossible for me now be even more afraid of this thing.

-Was that a bad idea from the very beginning?- I frantically looked for any possible weakness of this monster, that I could use,- Hey, buddy, maybe we just can forget about this wrong situation and start again? Like, I tried to kill you, you tried to kill me – can we just forget about this thing and start all over?

This boarzard was at least three times bigger than I was – and some minor scratches across his back was the greatest evidence of the thickness of his skin. If only I saw him fully before the first attack!

In response, this truly ungrateful bastard roared – and dashed to me, trying to slam me with his mask-like head.

-THIS IS NEVER WORK!- I cried, before jump aside, evading successfully his attack.

Okay, pal, calm down,- my brain or something, that was inside of the head of this body screamed from the intensive work, I put it through, but there was no alternatives,- Only thing, that you need now – is victory. Simple, right?

-WRONG!- I jumped again, repeating my only way to live another couple of seconds,- But there is one way – somebody out of you two will die and now your only option – to make this somebody – not you!

The thing opened his mouth – and roared again, now, of all time – it sounded almost angry.

-Sorry, buddy, but I want to live so badly!- I jumped again, but now I jumped vertically, trying to grab the back of the creature. For one moment the boarzard became bewildered, but pain was a greatest reminder of the current situation – and thus, thing grabbed my tail with his disproportionately powerful jaws, tearing it apart.

-OH FU~!- only the fact, that my clenched teeth was my insurance from my death prevent the most expressive perfomance of my life from happening .

My canines dug into the boarzard flesh – and for the first time im life I regretted about my non-existent rodeo experience.

-I never expected to die from the decapitation!- my insufficiently small, comparison to this boar, body dangled like the pair of socks in the wind, trying to come off my head. Like the pair of bleeding, carnivore socks,- That was prohibited by law!

The boar didn't respond – but tried to throw me off nonetheless, as if HE was in pain the most.

-No, no, no!- with every "no" my body rushed from side to side,- No, still want to live!

The monster roared again and took another try, rolling over this time.

Of course, when this giant animal jumped I came off him immediately – but this harsh bitch, gravity, still did her work and struck him to the ground.

So – I jumped on his unprotected belly and bite with all my might, riving pieces from him, using my only way to win on the fullest. Of course, instantly the monster tried to fight me off, but now, when he was in the most unsuitable for battle position, that was ideal chance for me to end the battle. Ignoring his attacks, I clawed his thin scale until my arms became numb and even longer, before attacks didn't stoped and his full of bloodfury red eyes didn't pale and, finally, closed.

Even after this, I moved my long sharp claws another couple of times, before finally I comprehended, that beast was dead.

I stopped half-move – and roared unbelievably loud victory… Roar.

-Eat this, bitch!- I tried to shout this, but my vocal cords could only play something akin to the roaring gurgle.

-Phew, I thought that I was goner!- only after that another portion of great pain reminded me about circumstances of my body,- My tail!

After this thought I opened my mouth and snatched meat in front of me, eviscerating it quickly. This desert was full of creatures, eager to eat someone that was already dead or weakened after the battle enough.

That was my tenth, special hunt in this strange place. Strange place? Yes, this place indeed was very strange – for all time, that I spent here I did not found a single source of water or even normal plant, only some dry sprouts and dead trees. Hell, everyone in this strange place was carnivores – myself included – and that was the opening of the list.

In this place, wherever it is located, I felt hunger and something like the lust, lust for battle – but not the thirst or the need to rest. I did not sleep here a single time, hell, I didn't even felt like I need to slow down my pace at all. I ran for hours – I think so, at least – and in the end was ready for battle in that single moment I saw my prey. No matter, what kind of ideal monstrous body I had – this was NOT normal.

Oh, or I could talk about physiology problem – because I never even considered the possibility of existence body, consisting only of some homogeneous black mass. Before this, I mean.

Bodies of every single creature, I killed before was like black jelly – with distinct meat taste. Moreover, there was nothing inside – no organs, no muscles, even the blood of this bodies was not the proper blood, but the small drops of this black mass, flowing like the liquid out of the bodies if skin was damaged. Every body was almost like the rubber balloon, filled with water, except – it was alive and very functional.

Oh god, if only I have at least the slightest idea,- I bite a piece and looked around,- Such a big body, such a big problems.

If only I will not hurry – someone big, strong and very hungry will come here for my prey – and will find a second lunch for the price of one.

But about what I am talking? Oh, yes, this strange place and it strange features!

I felt something on my back – and rear – started to feel warm, but that was not the matter for concern – it was just the sign of starting regeneration. Yes, regeneration – almost forgot about it – even worms were not as hardy, as I was now. Mangled skin? Blinded eye? Or even torn paw? Everything start to regenerate after some time – faster with food. No, I was very grateful for this little help from nature – but that was not just weird or strange, but unnatural – and by this I mean, that it was alien and even creepy. Useful as someone can imagine, but when your stump start to deform and slowly change, why you can see, how bit by bit little clawed fingers tore your skin to got in place… Lets just say, that was a decent bad side even for something so unimaginably good as the regeneration.

How can my body regenerate? Who am I? Where I was? Or even – why the sun didn't set a single time I was here?

This place was not just strange, but completely unnormal – unnatural. Unnatural creatures, unnatural laws, unnatural behaviour – in this world there was nothing except giant crowd of different black masked monster, meaning of life for which is kill someone today to became stronger – and die tomorrow.

I bited the last time, watched for the remaining pieces of the dead boarzard on the dirt – and ran again, for my new prey. My new stronger, slimer and even more agile fully regenerated body was in it's top condition – and I was ready for new battle, to hunt my enemy – and ate him whole, before I find another one. It the end this place had nothing in it – except deadliest creatures I ever saw in my life – and giant opportunity to become the most dangerous out of them. I was not ready to lose something like this.


	4. Arc 1: Chapter 3

-What does it mean – nothing?- I took a step forward, forcing the squealing wolf-like creature retreat for a meter,- I hunted you for DAYS! How can it be nothing!? You look exactly like every other unik!

The giant trembling boneheaded – and now I mean it in the most literal way possible – animal tried to rush aside, but was stopped by the greatest possible force in this conditions – by my own claws.

-YOU looked like any other one with the unique abilities!- I pushed my fingers deeper into the flesh-like substance of the black monster, trying to inflict so much pain into his empty head, that even this thing will understand the sheer amount of the "displeasure" I felt right now,- And now you not the one of us!? I LOST A WEEK FOR SOME TRASH!?

Unable to hold back, I ripped the skin of the monster and cut his neck in the perfect horisontal slash, before bite into his headless body.

-Lost, lost, lost so much time!- I bited disorderly, trying to eat the whole thing as fast as I can. I've already lost so many time, tracking this scum – I could not afford even a second of the delay. Every moment that I did not becoming faster, smarter and stronger – enemies are training! Every second, every moment – we are racing with each other, trying to define the winner of this lifelong competition, because losers are not going to finish the race at all.

How many time I spent here already? Weeks? Months? Years? I have no idea – I didn't know if this place even had the concept of the linear time. I didn't know – and it didn't bother me at all. The only thing, that is bothering me right now – is the protraction. Every piece of time that I lost – lost forever. It is irreplaceable – and so, every bit of power, that I could achieve at that time, but did not – is the lost bit of power.

I practically choked, shoving a meal inside me, trying to catch the lost seconds, before turned to the another one wolf-like creature that I scouted on the verge of my sense field.

-Prey!- I gulped the body of the dead one instantly, before turning to the next one target,- Weakened!

I rushed headlong to the next one target, praying that now this thing will be the unik – someone with the unique power. This will be much more profitable, than just another one wolf-like fellow or the boar-like, like, actual boar-like bud.

In this place, that I spent more time than I even can thought I will – I met many of monsters, but only a few of their types – boarzards, crows, wolfs, boars and gorillas. Also, there were the giant creatures – the really big one, like the crow the size of big house or the two headed snake – but I didn't even want to talk about them. They were clearly out of my league – at least, yet.

But the problem was – that I was clearly out of the others league. This wolfs, monkeys – they were too weak for me, yet I was too weak for the next one step of the power ladder. I stuck between two stages – the weak one didn't satisfy my lust for power anymore – yet there was no way to avoid this mindless, long, repeating grind to get the power. Except, there was one.

Sometimes – rarely, but sometimes – in my never ending search for new prey I scouted the new one creatures. They looked not like the others, they smelled differentially than any other – and they practically screamed for they wish. Wish to be hunted by the strongest hunter. Wish to be consumed – and to turn into my power. Wasn't it only natural?

And so – I hunted this unik creatures. For power, for survive – but sometimes, for fun. At first – I thought that in this place there is some kind of… Anything. New lands, new creatures, change of time, of the surroundings or the circumstances around. But in the end – this place turned up to be the stagnating miserable pitfall, full of nothing. There was only the always hunger monsters, luring on the verge of your senses, waiting for you to lower your guard and become careless for one moment. There was only never ending struggle for surviving.

How many time I spent here? I devoured their flesh, their very existence to satisfy this burning hunger inside me, to feel full again, to be made whole? I didn't know. This doesn't bother me. What now is really bothering me – is the search for the new one. Small catch – unik with some kind of new power.

I stand on my two legs to scout the surroundings to see the new one prey, holding the tore mask of the dead shark-like creature.

I killed it? When did I did it? How long can I stand on my two legs? How many time I spent here? This doesn't bother me. What is bothering me right now – is my next catch. Run – kill – eat. That's how its work. That's how everyone lives here.

I hunt for this creatures for so long. Like the endless race with death – race, where you can win only for some time before you will think, that you really won. Yet I was victorious – but only for some time. I killed only the worthy prey – but I killed so many of the weak ones, strong ones… If there were only one thing to do – kill and eat every single entity you saw – even against your will you will become proficient in this kind of things. But what is even more – I was not against this Idea. To kill the weak ones, to kill the strong ones – if there was only one thing to do, why should I be afraid of it, of consequences? Is there were only one thing to do – why should I be disgusted by this?

How many time I spent here? My hands, my legs – everything is so different from my last remembering. I was a human? Was I? Is this even my body?

Didn't bother me. It's only natural. I didn't chose – I just take the route that was given to myself. I was not aback by this – in the end, I did like every other human on Earth. I did like every other one did before myself – I lived like the every other monster.

Kill it. Eat it. Live for the next hour. Repeat.

Human? Was I one before? Am I one now? Cannot remember. Like the sleep of reason – I produced the monster? Was I always this thing? Is this really natural?

How many time I spent here?

I shook my head, before turning to the pile of corpses. I did it? When I did it? Could I remember, what I did? Who I was?

-Cannot remember,- I muttered quietly, looking at my hands. Was they always like this? They counted less before, didn't they.

-Doesn't matter,- I took a step on the sand, soaked with the blood,- This is only natural. But still…

I looked at the planet again – and now the planet shone in the night like the burning candle. Like the fragile little spark. This continents… Are this continents always looked like this? Was this burning little marks, shining in the night like the little fireflies the natural thing?

Something inside my mind ringed a bell – but I cannot see, what is really this thing was like.

-Doesn't bother,- I narrowed my eyes again,- Only natural.

How many time I spent here?

* * *

To the Emman214 - No, this is not the Ichigo, more like author's OC


	5. Arc 1: Chapter 4

Boredom.

If someone going to ask myself about time I spent in this strange place – I will answer them: "It was boring as hell." After that I will kill the one that asked.

I mean, do not mistake – this place was boring as Hell, but at the same time – it still was a Hell. Very dark, gory and bloody hell. Like the Hell was supposed to be, I think.

I lazily inhaled and breathed out. It was my most interesting occupation for a weeks already.

First year you will tremble in fear, trying to figure the laws of this place, to find the rules which sill save your skin one day. To search a suitable prey and find the top carnivore to avoid him at all costs. I experienced this stage too, of course. In the end, this was only natural. Just try to imagine, how horrible it could be – to die and then reincarnate almost immediately in the strange, full of always hungry scary boogy-mens as the one of them, to fight the one minute after your rebirth, experiecing the needle-like teeth piercing your meat like the fork piercing the almost cooked steak in the first brawl. Then – almost die because of bleeding – only to find out that now your body is the baloon full of black goo, that give no shits about the cellular mechanism of organism functioning or the basic physic laws.

This can be a little confusing.

But if you survive this one – like I did – than the next one stage will come in two years roughly.

Overconfidence.

I inhaled deeply again, trying not to get the sand inside my dry throat – and closed my eyes.

Like, I survived the two years in this place – so no one can ever beat me, yeah! I will hunt down every one, I know the rules – and thus I can make the rules, yeah!

No, you cannot.

This is very short stage – you will fight several times with some minor creeps, proving yourself that now you are the big daddy in this sandbox, one of the "top-hunters" you were afraid not so long ago. And then you will start a fight with one of this true enemies.

Either way, you will know after that fight, that you are not the best one – only on the "survival possible"-level of abilities, the light way – if they just kick you enough to stop the process of conceit-brain replacement. Or the hard way – when you will knew your place just before they tore your brainless head out of the body full of false pride.

Then – there goes a ten or so years of the "ordinary living", like any other – you stop to question the world around you about strange things happening around against all physic laws. You saw the spider-like thing about the size of the big house? Charming.

You saw the flying dragon-like lizard, breathing purple liquid? Oh, well, it happens sometime.

You saw how two separated pieces of the one monster regenerated in the single entity after he was killed by the merciless evisceration? So, sometimes they can do even this stuff.

You stop your mind, you stop your logic – and accept the world around you as it is, like the normal.

That is when the real shit happens.

One day, another – and after some point that you cannot even remember you will start to degrade. Firstly – you stop to question the world around you. Than you stop your arguing with the world around you, to do any hobby, to sing, to explore and to imagine – everything except the harsh reality around you will be no matter to you.

You will loose your sense of time, sense of self-preservation and consciousness, the harsh way. Because it will not return after some rest-time. Because you will become the one like this.

The creatures around me, all this mindless monsters – did they become like this at the third stage? Did they just go crazy after one simple realization – there is no salvation for the damned? Did they too, like me – spent a years to find a way out of here – but find out only the infinite loop of this horror? Did I really could became like this, if I will not come to my current mindset, talking with the imaginary observers through my thought? Did they were such an easy prey because of this?

I breathed again.

So, after you will loose yourself in this madness – you can even not awake at all. Or, like me, awake again – after the unspecified amount of time, with the deeply integrated in your body reflexes, almost instinctive abilities – and no clue about what time did you spent here. To live a life like I live – lie on the sand, inhaling slowly, out of boredom, because even the monsters around you are scared right now.

You cannot even kill someone for fun.

What a miserable life!

Not that I was bored from the idea of hunt itself – no, it just became so tiresome, maybe even wasteful to hunt on the small prey. Now even the big ones didn't counted as the legitimate source of energy. They was just… So small. The amount of required efforts are just too monstrous compared to the effect of the "joy time" spent like this, absolute futile spendings at least. Even lie down like this for a weeks was more productive than hunt some little brats around. Though, I still kill them sometimes out of sheer frustration from this place. I mean – there is no much things to do. You can fight for your life and food – or you can lie down breathing between. Though also you can die, but we will not count that option.

Those, that talk about "boredom" are not even remotely close to understanding how horrible this thing can be – almost exact situation as with the depression.

Total starving of information when you literally slipping out of your mind out of nothing. When you did not even move out of your permanent lair – only reason is that you already saw this world and now, that you will not see something new – because there is no changes at all. Monsters, lands, everything around – almost as if I was locked inside the one meter square gray casemate, except – that was the biggest gray one meter square casemate in the worl. And it was red. Ha. Ha. Ha.

-Don't think about it,- I pushed my forehead against the sand,- Don't think or you go mad again. You don't want to

Where was I? Oh, yes, crazy – this was the only one state of mind appropriate for this place. If you are not crazy – either way you will become one in the next two or three years, without any new information or contact with people this will be a bliss to just degrade to the level of the monster like every other here. In my case – this also is not the worst variant, to start talking with the hypothetical almighty spectator. Its like as if I always on the confession in the church. It can be nerving sometimes, though.

I scouted a pair of monsters on the verge of my senses – but was not interested in it at all. Two creatures, quite the strong one – and a very weak one. I bet my dibs – just another "big one" trying to hunt as much prey as he can. I also was like this, of course – two weeks… Fifty years? Okay, some time ago.

But now I was on the peak of my personal degradation – lying on the ground, talking with the imaginary spectator about my life, whining about my boring life. At least I was alive – and at least sufficiently strong to not change truthfulness of this fact for some time, while a lot of other was not. And the amount of dead are grow with every second spent – like, took the example of this hunt…

I inhaled deeply – but could only frown after what I saw here.

-Still alive?- I sniffed again, trying to re-examine the events I saw now. No, no matter how hard I tried to see a trick behind this – I could only find a weird fact – the battle was not over and little one was alive. No, what is even more strange – it was seen as if there was no battle at all. Little prey was very close to the hunter yet carnivore did not pay attention to it at all.

-Maybe a little one is undetectable? – that moment after I thought about it I rejected hypothesis. As I could sense they movements, it was not like the short encounter – they traveled as the single group.

-Strange,- I smirked. Strange means that something unexpected. Something new.

So I stood up almost immediately and after a second of thoughts – was on the way to the strange phenomena I detected. In the end, it looked not like the trap – and even if It was one, at least I will be dead and so – not so bored like I was now.


End file.
